Today’s post is dedicated to the spirit of a wise woman, Gay Mallon. Her healing presence and skillful guidance of breath work and body movement as a bioenergetics therapist helped me to find and express my voice.
Those words greeted me every Wednesday for eleven months at my sessions with Gay. Before she heard details of my life, she observed how I walked. With her keen eyes, she gave me her assessment:
Your breathing is shallow. You have no boundaries. No voice. You have a lifetime of fear in your body.
My body had revealed my secrets.
The throat connects the head to the heart and is a channel of expression and creativity. I had lived with throat problems since childhood tonsillitis and sometimes laryngitis as an adult. I swallowed my anger to avoid conflicts and wore a mask of pretend nice which caused inner dissonance and anxiety. I reasoned that I was keeping the peace, but the cost was too high. I was betraying myself by keeping the silence instead of expressing strong emotions.
Gay’s calm voice encouraged me during our sessions:
Use your voice. Stay in your emotions. Your fragile self is protected by the grace of God.
After practicing the breathing exercises at home in addition to sessions with Gay, I learned that clearing the emotional blocks from my throat released my voice so that I might express the essence of who I am.
Underneath all we are taught, there is a voice that calls to us and in listening to that flicker of spirit, we often find deep healing. This is the voice of embodiment calling us to live our lives like sheet music played, and it often speaks to us in moments of deep crisis. Mark Nepo